Friday, March 18, 2016


How embarrassing.

So, remember how I told you I sold my first item, the whiskey decanter? Well, I wanted to make sure I shipped it out quickly since my eBay status is riding on it. Damn Paypal is holding my funds for 21 days or until I make more sales. Why? I guess I understand. I have to prove myself as a seller. I've had my eBay account for 11 years and only ever used it to buy things. I have a perfect score card with that, mind you. Anyway, my funds are frozen for the time being.


I already had the perfect box here in the house to ship the decanter AND the inflatable bubble things you sometimes receive in packages. I was all set. The only thing left to do was to print off the shipping label and I'd be on my merry way to the post office (after bathing and clothing-ing-ng..ng... two small children along with myself). I had already put in the (approximate) measurements of the box, along with the weight. Ebay had confirmed that the best course of action was 2-Day Priority Mail. I'll nod my head and pretend I understand that. (warning: Shipping Noob).

The customer paid for his purchase, along with $9.75 in shipping. Hooray. I went to print the shipping label and realized I would receive a bit of a discount for shipping through eBay - heck yeah! It was going to be around $8.17 to ship. The only problem was..... we're out of ink in our printer. No biggie. I needed to go out anyway ("off the mountain" as we call it - we literally live on a mountain and it takes 20-30 minutes to get anywhere so we try to combine trips). I knew I would need to swing by the library and print off my label and then head for the post office. Again, two small kids? Yeah. Some call me wonder woman.

But just to make sure, I wanted to go ahead and double-check with the USPS website and see if there was an even easier way to ship the package and save a bit on postage. What I discovered was that there was a second option - Regional Box A - that would save me an additional $2. I thought HECK YEAH (this time in caps) and proceeded to get the kids ready. I decided I would go ahead and leave my box open since I didn't have tape here (I told you I was a shipping noob ... or idiot. Or both) and have them tape it at the post office for me (NAIVE shipping noob alert) and then send it off in either this package or switch everything over to the golden Regional A box.

An hour and a half later and two meltdowns per child later (and one by me, not gonna lie), we were out the door and on our way. We arrived at the post office and to my horror, the line was damn near around the corner to the grocery store. The weather here has been a cool 65-70 degrees and apparently nobody works in this city so everyone's been out and about at 2:00pm in the middle of the week. I was annoyed to say the least. So here I was, standing in line, holding a rooting newborn looking for a boob in one hand, my awkwardly-open package in the other and trying to answer all 500 of my 3-year-old's questions while trying to keep my huge-ass purse/diaper bag on my shoulder.

"Mommy, where are we?"
"Mommy, look at all these boxes!"
"Mommy, look what I can do!" (picks nose)
"Mommy, when are we going to the library?!"
"Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom."
"Mommy, I touched your butt."

Oh sweet Jesus my patience was tested. I even called upon the Lord for help a few times and I'm not even religious. Thankfully the man in front of me could see I was struggling and offered to hold my package for me. I'm sure if I was a guy, that line could have been a little sexier. Sorry, distracted. ANYWAY. The line moved slower than an old bitty with a checkbook at the grocery store.

Finally, it was my turn. The guy looked like he just wasn't having it. The baby was grumbling at this point ("Grumbles," again, is her nickname). I told the guy that I was a bit new to the whole mailing packages thing (New? I've literally never mailed more than a letter in the drop-down box). He sighed rather loudly. I continued. I told him I was an eBay seller and this was my first package to ship and that eBay was offering me a shipping discount but I didn't print the label because I wanted to see about this Regional A box as a second choice. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to roll his eyes. He informed me that HE couldn't offer me the eBay discount (No fucking duh, dude... I'm not that dumb.) and that he didn't carry the Regional A box in his store AND I was going to have to package up the box on my own, fill out the package slip and get to the back of the line. I damn near wanted to cry. How could I be so stupid? I was under the very incorrect assumption that he could at least tape the stupid box for me. Nope.

Not only did I have to step aside, lose my place in line and look like a dejected moron, I had to pull some overpriced tape off the sales rack and use it to package up my poor box. I had to grab a spare outfit from my diaper bag and lay the baby's head on it as I dealt with my situation. Thankfully a lady on the other side of the island took pity on me and offered to tape the box up while I held the baby. How sweet of her. Much sweeter than the post office employee, that's for sure.

What an ordeal.

But the good news is this - I've made my first sale and successfully shipped the package off to the (hopefully) happy buyer.

Now it's 2:43 am, the house is quiet, the baby is due to wake up at any minute and demand boob and I'm basking in the lack of sound.

Good night!

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